I Have a Dreamgirl

Yesterday, at my day job, which involves answering telephones and helping people with technical issues related to their applications for federal government grants, I stood up to stretch and suddenly felt the need to sing the old Supremes' song, "Where Did Our Love Go?"

These moments happen to everyone, I believe --- not necessarily a desire to suddenly channel Diana Ross and burst into song in an inappropriate setting --- but to release pent-up energy and shake the cobwebs from one's brain. Some people may shadow-box; others may go outside and smoke a cigarette. Small children have it down to a science --- when all else fails, you simply start spinning in circles.

But in any case, seeing and hearing a husky, 50-something man suddenly stand up and, with appropriate Dreamgirls hand gestures, start warbling, "Baby, Baby, Baby, Where did our love go? Oh, don't you want me? Don't you want me no more? ..." --- well, it does cause them to look up from their computer screens and take notice.

"You can't be Diana Ross in here," one of my co-workers, a friendly guy in his late twenties, said.

I became indignant and immediately turned into Flip Wilson's old Geraldine character.

"What you mean I can't be Diana Ross?" I said. "You saying because that just because I am a white man I can't be a black woman? Honey, I'm telling you, that is discrimination! That is hate speech! This is a matter to take up with the Human Resources office! And as soon as I can find two people to be Mary Wilson and Cindy Birdsong I'm going to do just that!"

(Now before I continue, I want to state that I realize that many people regard Ms. Birdsong as a zaftig usurper who replaced the original Third Supreme, the late Florence Ballard, but I referenced Cindy because I think her name is funnier than Flo's.)

In any case, the joke was well received and we all went back to work. But it also got me thinking about the recent Martin Luther King holiday and the current U.S. presidential election.

We officially observe Martin Luther King day because the late civil rights leader continues to be ranked among the most influential and inspirational Americans of the 20th century. He is remembered for his eloquent speeches evoking peaceful change and progress in the world and for his call for all people to be judged on "the content of their character" and not the color of their skins and, by implication, the way they worship God, and, by implication, their genders and sexual orientation.

If it weren't for the efforts of King and other people of all ethnic, racial, religious backgrounds, genders and sexual orientations, I probably would not be able to stand up as an openly gay man in my office and joke about wanting to be Diana Ross. The key word here is "open" --- I've made no bones about the fact that I share my life with another man and am proud of the picture of the two of us together that I keep on my desk. Camping it up and pretending that I want to be a black woman is a joke I would probably not be able to pull off if I remained in the closet --- my co-workers, who might suspect I was gay, would wonder if I was joking or serious and just give me a blank look. But because I've made it clear who I am --- a middle-aged gay guy who also happens to be a biological father --- they feel they know enough about me to know when I'm joking and making fun of stereotypes.

In other words, I was judged by the content of my character and not unclarified assumptions about what I was doing and saying. Thank you, Rev. King.

This year, we're seeing a quantum leap in the fulfillment of Martin Luther King's dream: The final two candidates for the Democratic nomination for president are (may I have the envelope, please) ... Hillary Rodham Clinton, a woman, and Barack Obama, a mixed-race man whose father is a black man from Kenya. With John Edwards, the third-strongest candidate among the Democrats, now withdrawn from the race, it is inevitable that the Democrats will make history this year by nominating a presidential candidate who is not a white man. Whether it's Clinton or Obama, it's obvious a glass ceiling --- gender or race --- is going to be broken through.

Of course, whether Senator Clinton or Senator Obama gets the nomination, they will still have to run against the white male the Republicans select for president this year. And the highest glass ceiling --- the one that covers the Oval Office in the White House --- may have to wait until another election. But this year, it's obvious that Democrat voters, at least, already are looking beyond color and gender and at the character of their two finalists.

I am still undecided about who I am supporting for president --- Clinton and Obama (and Edwards) are/(were) strong candidates with platforms with which I am comfortable, for the most part. All of them stop short of supporting a key issue for me --- that all people, regardless of sexual orientation, may have equal access to marriage or civil unions under federal law --- and so, I am withholding judgment until the Democrat convention. I will support whoever the Democrat nominee is because it is obvious that another Republican president will simply cause more of the social stagnation and economic recession that we have experienced during the last eight years under the incompetent "leadership" of George W. Bush.

If Al Gore were running for president again, I would be whole-heartedly supporting him --- he's had the cojones to support equal status for same-sex partners, at least. But he's not, and Clinton and Obama (and Edwards) are playing/(played) it safe.

But I can put up with compromise --- for now. Lord knows we gay folks have put up with it before. It's enough for me this year to see that part of Martin Luther King's dream of equal access for all people is being fulfilled. The American people have the opportunity to put a woman or a black man in the White House and no one has to report anyone to the Human Resources office to do that.

And it's nice to know that I can be Diana Ross if I want to, even if I don't pass the physical.